To heal anything, you must first confess you need healing. You cannot fix a problem until you acknowledge one exists.
Recently, I watched an episode of Iyanla Vanzant's TV show, Iyanla Fix My Life, in the episode there was a young woman named Kamiyah Mobley who was in denial that she needed healing. Before we get into what I learned from the show, let me give you a little back story. When Kamiyah was 8 hours old she was kidnapped from the hospital she was born at. The kidnapper, Gloria Williams, raised Kamiyah as her own daughter for 16 years until she finally confessed to Kamiyah she kidnapped her.
For 16 years Kamiyah lived as Alex Manigo in South Carolina and believed Gloria Williams was her biological mother. Alexis was her name and Gloria was her mother. All of this was her reality until the truth about her kidnapping was revealed to her. Shortly after finding out the shocking news, Gloria was arrested and she reunited with her birth parents and discovered her birth name was Kamiyah Mobley. In a short span of time this young woman's whole world came tumbling down. Everything about the first 16 years of her life was a lie including her name.
You would think after finding out the truth she would be outraged with her kidnapper and cling to her birth parents. Nope! While she embraced her biological family, her heart is still attached to Gloria-the woman that kidnapped her. Now this is understandable considering Gloria raised her and from Kamiyah's account was a good mom. Yet, none of this excuses the fact this woman stole this girl from her parents-literally right out of her mother's arms. For me details about the the kidnapping and the latest on the case, read this article https://www.insideedition.com/kamiyah-mobley-case-gloria-williams-pleads-guilty-kidnapping-infant-nearly-20-years-ago-40677.
Now let's get to the heart of this therapy session! In the episode Iyanla tried to help Kamiyah come to the grips with what happened to her. Her goal was to to get Kamiyah to open up and express her feelings in healthy and safe environment. Well let's just say Iyanla's goal didn't go as planned! While she planned to upset Kamiyah as a way to get her to express her emotions, she didn't plan on Kamiyah getting violent and threatening her and her crew's lives. My conclusion for the cause of the drama that happened on the show was Kamiyah was/is living in a state of denial. She knows what Gloria did to her is wrong, but she still loves her mother and still considers her mom.
Kamiyah is still processing in her mind what happened to her and how she should feel about it. While it's easy to judge her for the bad behavior she displayed on the show, a lot of us in many ways are Kamiyah- people living in denial. Kamiyah was not ready to accept or believe that the woman who loved and raised her was a kidnapper. A criminal. Instead of embracing her new found truth, she choose to deny it. Her denial was causing her to hold on to a pretty dressed lie when the naked truth was staring her dead in the face. Iyanla tried to help Kamiyah undress and unravel the layers of the lie so she could process the naked truth, but Kamiyah was simply not ready.
A lot of you are like Kamiyah simply not ready to accept the naked truths God keeps putting before your eyes. You see it. You hear it. You even feel it, but you won't accept it. You hold on to the pretty lie because it makes you feel good. It helps you function in your pretend world. The world where the truth doesn't exist, but the reality is the truth does exist. That naked truth won't go away. You can deny it. You can close your eyes to it. You can even run away from it. Nothing you do will change its existence.
Gloria's love for Kamiyah and Kamiyah's love for Gloria does not change the fact Gloria kidnapped her and lied to her for 16 years of her life. Kamiyah must accept the truth that Gloria kidnapped her and is not her real mother. In spite of her loving kindness towards her, Gloria deserves to be locked up in prison. The bible tells us "thou shalt steal" and she stole a whole baby!
Today I want you to evaluate your own life. Be honest. What are some naked truths in your own life that you have been denying? Kamiyah couldn't go through the rest of the process on the show because she was in denial about her truth. The truth that she needed to heal. The truth that she was broken, angry, scared, and confused. What are some naked truths in your life that you have been covering with pretty lies? What do you need to accept, admit, and confess? It's easier to judge her, but look in your own mirror. Remove the log from your own eyes. Do your work. Undress the lies and stand face to face with your naked truths.